Platform+Speech

Hi, Billy Mays here for the Presidency of these United States! I represent new innovation in American politics. Are you tired of the frustration of old politics? You vote and you vote but the stains of poor politics will not come out! I represent the best of the As Seen on TV political party [ASOT]. The ASOT brings quality ideas delivered immediately after Election Day, usually two to three weeks. The ASOT stands for strengthened ideals in six main areas: energy, health care, jobs, economy, education and the current state of the drinking age. As Seen on TV, myself, and my running mates: Maple Backscratcher, That Guy from Shamwow commercials, The Dog from Snuggie Commercials, Tony Horton, and Tony Little. We all will work to get America and its political system in shape!

I’m not going to fill your head with complicated political jargon of change and cleaning out the house. The As Seen on TV party supports simple changes that benefit every American, not just those who can afford lobbyists in Washington. Although, don’t worry, we’ll still support those lobbyists too—the goal of our campaign in to keep jobs in America, and what’s more American that a bunch of wealthy lobbyists? We are going to use the Shamwow to soak up the leaking boat of the American system with our six main points of innovation.

First off we are going to edit the world of American energy. We are going to promote energy independence by pitching the Solar Juicebar to Americans. You might have seen the product on your television, but the Juicebar will be attached to the cell phones of Americans. This will conserve mass amounts of energy that might be taken up by old charging methods. Our party also plans to promote harnessing the energy off of the extreme movement of Tony Little’s Gazelle. The Gazelle will be our main source of energy soon, but when Tony gets tired the energy needs of America will be subsidized with nuclear energy, solar panels, and geothermal energy. We will make progress towards converting gasoline engines to natural gas.

Health care has been tried by other parties for the last twenty years. The plans offered cost billions of dollars a year. Our party is the first to ever focus on a solution that is cost effective and good for the nation as a whole. Tony Little and Tony Horton have agreed to sell their products, the Gazelle and the P90X, for a discounted price to all Americans. For those Americans who can not afford these quality products, you will be given tax-credits. As Seen on TV guarantees the results of these machines, you will become stronger and healthier from the first time you step on the Gazelle. This will be a one time expense and will reduce health care cost by billions by creating a healthier America. ASOT supports the free market health care system. We plan to offer tax credits for those in need and stop some of the corruption of insurance agencies through minor regulations, that is unless their lobbyists oppose that. As it is assumed that lobbyists speak for the general population of America!

Increasing the number of jobs available to Americans is an important step in salvaging our economy. ASOT supports the simple idea of supporting companies who hire American workers. We would support tax breaks for companies who have factories inside of America. Unfortunately fixing jobs is not possible overnight. The absolute best way to provide better jobs without increasing inflationary rates is to create more efficient technology and to provide better education to students today so that by the next generation we will have a smarter, more effective workforce.

The economy will be run by the people and the government will not be able to interfere with it. There will not be any bailouts by the government. White collar crime should be enforced more strictly and have greater punishments, but our party believes that more regulation only hurts Main Street. Our goal in office will try to encourage companies to follow the model created by The As Seen on TV corporation. We believe they have the best structure and encourage all Americans to buy stock in our, I mean that, company. ASOT believes that our economy will be saved when America begins to invent new products and market then on the TV.

Education will be fixed through complete change in the system. The first change will be to give the students more standardized tests that not only discover the quality of the future workforce, but also to determine what type of sub-school each student will go to. Low testing students will be put into a technical school while the best students will continue on the path they have been on. This system will remove clutter from the school system while still preparing all students for a career that will earn them a good life. The teachers will be encouraged to let students think critically at certain times of the day so that they can attempt to invent products that can make a better America. Teachers will be on a strict system, they must product good students or they will lose their jobs. Unless the teachers union opposes this idea, of course.

The ASOT will also propose lowering the drinking age from 21 to 18 based on principle. ASOT believes that if an 18 year old is old enough to sign up for the military and die for his country then he is old enough to drink responsibly. Turning 18 yields no benefits. Upon turning 18 one can be called for selective service and be called onto a jury. We believe it is unfair that it’s wrong the government doesn’t trust those under 21, when they trust an 18 year olds vote and other services.

As Seen on TV supports these six platforms as a way to benefit the world of tomorrow. Simple changes and innovations can earn massive amounts of revenue and yield benefits that one might not have even known were possible. As Seen on TV has been offering products for years that make your life better and now it’s time they take over the political system to continue making America great. Home Speeches